


it's easy to miss the gold we find

by wafflesofdoom



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-23 18:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11995773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesofdoom/pseuds/wafflesofdoom
Summary: a series of ficlets written for robert week.day two: write a scene between your favourite robert/family relationship. or, robert and victoria have a conversation about boys and pride over ice-cream.





	1. day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day one: write a romantic scene between your favourite robert ship. or, robert wakes up to pancakes and bacon, and a happily ever after.

It was like any other Saturday morning, when Robert woke up. He could just about see sunlight poking through part of their curtains, Aaron never closing them properly (despite Robert going and buying blackout curtains, so there wouldn’t so much as be an inch of light in their room in the mornings), the duvet bunched up around Robert’s shoulders.

He was alone.

Robert wasn’t surprised to wake up to an empty bed, Aaron prone to still being an early riser at the weekends, the side effect of too many years up at the scrapyard, but he was still a little disappointed he’d slept in so much, and missed his favourite part of their Saturday routine, the two of them curled up in bed together, exchanging lazy kisses, and talking about their plans for the day.

(Robert savoured every moment he got with Aaron now, savoured all the lazy kisses and cosy mornings, all the things he’d never expected to get to have again.)

Stretching his hands above his head, Robert took a second or two to stretch out his sleep heavy limbs, smirking slightly to himself as he felt the ache in his backside, the aftermath of a Friday night in with his husband (boyfriend? partner? He really wasn’t sure anymore, if he was honest.)

A night in with  _his_  Aaron.

Robert pushed the duvet off himself, shivering slightly at the chill of their room as the air hit his bare skin.

Aaron hadn’t turned the heating on again.

Robert tugged on a pair of pyjama bottoms, and a ratty old t-shirt, going back for a pair of Aaron’s thick winter socks and a hoodie on second thought, wanting to spend his Saturday morning as comfortable as possible, thank you very much.

This was his home, and if he wanted to slob out, he absolutely would. Robert wasn’t even going to bother with a shower, figuring Aaron had experienced his bed head and morning breath enough times to not care.

(And if he was angling for a round of shower sex, well, no one had to know, did they?)

Robert could hear Aaron in the kitchen, as he made his way down the spiral staircase, admiring the way light seemed to pour in the stained glass front door. That, he decided, was one of his very best ideas.

(Okay, so maybe it had been Ronnie’s idea, but Ronnie was long gone from the village, and Robert was taking the credit.)

“Something smells good,” Robert commented, padding into the kitchen. The table was laid for two, a bright bunch of flowers messily arranged in a vase Diane had bought them as a wedding present.

Aaron whirled around at Robert’s words, eyes wide. “You’re supposed to still be in bed!” he said, as though this was something Robert was supposed to know already. Aaron was already dressed for the day, wearing his best jeans, and a tight grey t-shirt that showed off the very welcome consequences of his five days a week in the gym habit.

Robert raised an eyebrow. “I’m not allowed in my own kitchen now?” he said, reaching around Aaron to flick the kettle on, noticing that Aaron was making his favourite, pancakes and bacon. “What’s the occasion?”

Aaron looked at the mess behind him, giving a slight shrug. “I….. I wanted to do something nice for you,” he admitted.

“Why? It’s not my birthday.”

“No, but does it have to be? You do nice stuff for me all the time,” Aaron shrugged, tugging on the sleeve of Robert’s borrowed hoodie. “Go on, sit down, it’s nearly ready.”

“I want coffee!” Robert exclaimed, almost childishly, letting Aaron guide him into one of the kitchen chairs.

Aaron rolled his eyes, leaning in to press a kiss to Robert’s lips. “Didn’t you brush your teeth?” he grimaced, turning his focus to the stove again, taking two mugs out of the cupboard.

Robert watched as Aaron  _willingly_  turned on Robert’s coffee machine, messing with the buttons until he found the setting he needed, making Robert a proper cup of coffee, not the instant muck Aaron usually made (because it was faster, Robert, and why would I want to spend ten minutes making you a coffee when I could be sleeping, eh?)

“We’ve been together for long enough for you not to care,” Robert grinned, admiring how the jeans clung to every muscle of Aaron’s arse and thighs, offering him a very nice view of his husband’s body.

“And they say romance is dead,” Aaron snorted, setting one of the coffees down in front of Robert, dumping two sugars in his own before he took a sip. Robert had been trying to turn him into a coffee fan, lately, but Aaron had too much of a sweet tooth to enjoy it all that much.

“I’m an old romantic, me,” Robert joked, feeling instantly more awake as he took a sip of his coffee.

 _Wait_.

Had Aaron gone out and bought Robert’s favourite coffee pods, the ones they’d ran out of?

The ones he could only ever find in  _Leeds_?

Before he could ask, Aaron plonked a plate of pancakes and bacon down in front of Robert, a brand new jar of maple syrup following. It was Robert’s guilty pleasure breakfast, if he was honest, all sorts of unhealthy, but the only way to start off a Saturday morning.

“Come on, eat!” Aaron nudged, tucking into his own pancakes.

Robert raised an eyebrow, but tucked in all the same, the food delicious. Aaron had gotten really good at cooking lately, one of the more beneficial byproducts of their breakup - he hadn’t had Robert around to cook for him anymore, so he’d learned.

Robert hated that they were apart for any length of time, but if it meant pancakes on a Saturday morning, well - Robert would be okay with it.

They ate, and chatted, for a while, Robert revelling in the fact he got to do this again, got to spend all his Saturday mornings with Aaron again. It had been a long road, to get to here, but they’d gotten there, in the end, and they had to look to the future now.

That’s what their relationship counsellor said, at least. It had been the most daunting aspect, of getting back together, the marriage counselling, but Robert couldn’t pretend as though it wasn’t working absolute magic on the two of them.

They talked now, when things went wrong, and that was the one thing they’d never been very good at, the honesty, the talking about your feelings. It was making for a better  _them_ , and Robert was grateful.

“Cook doesn’t wash up,” Robert commented, raising an eyebrow as Aaron started to collect their dirty dishes.

Aaron shrugged, a secretive grin on his face. “Let me treat you, yeah? I thought you’d be well up for that!”

“I can’t say I’m not enjoying it,” Robert picked up his coffee again, looking over his shoulder at Aaron as he piled dishes into the dishwasher. “I’m just curious.”

“About?”

“Why,” Robert admitted simply. “It’s not my birthday, or an anniversary. Have I missed an anniversary?”

“Can’t I just want to do something nice for you?”

“You can. I don’t - I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for anything,” Robert said. “I guess you just caught me by surprise.”

“And that’s exactly why I need to do more nice things for you, innit?” Aaron said, plonking an envelope down in front of Robert. “Go on, open it.”

Robert gave him a suspicious look, but opened it all the same, the booking confirmation for a hotel in Barcelona in his hands. “What - we’re going on holiday?” he couldn't hide his confusion.

Aaron nodded. “Five days in Barcelona at the end of the month, just you and me.”

“Aaron, this is amazing!” Robert exclaimed, unable to stop the excitement that bubbled in his stomach at the prospect of spending five blissful, uninterrupted days with Aaron - nothing but sun, sand, and sightseeing.

“I’m not done.”

Robert’s stomach did a flip, as he noticed Aaron sliding out of his kitchen chair, and onto one knee.

(They’d agreed, when they got back together, that they’d take their rings off, that Robert would take his ring off. They needed time, time to get used to each other again, time to navigate their new relationship, and they couldn’t do that with a ring on Robert’s finger, a reminder of all that had gone wrong.)

So the rings had sat in Robert’s beside locker for the last eight months, gathering dust, waiting for the right moment.

The right moment was apparently now.

“Aaron -“

“Ssh, you usually get to do all the big romantic gestures, it’s my turn now,” Aaron grinned, taking a second to find his balance as he held out the ring. “Robert, me and you - we’ve been through it, haven’t we? It’s not always been easy, but it’s always been worth it, in the end. I can’t imagine ever living my life without you. I tried before, and I don’t want to be without you.”

Robert had never been proposed to before, not really.

It was  _terrifying_  and amazing all at once.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Robert barely let Aaron finish the sentence before he replied, pulling Aaron in for a messy kiss. “God, yes, Aaron, of course I’ll marry you.”

(Robert hadn’t expected to get engaged in his pyjamas and a scruffy old hoodie on a  quiet Saturday morning, but he wasn’t mad about it. Not when he had a ring on his finger again, and a forever after with the man he loved.)

(No, Robert wasn’t mad at all.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. day two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day two: write a scene between your favourite robert/family relationship. or, robert and victoria have a conversation about boys and pride over ice-cream.

“We could go to a gay bar, you know,” Victoria said, looking up at him, mug of coffee in hand. They’d come into Leeds for the day, to do some shopping, but Robert knew it was his little sister just trying to cheer him up a little, distract him from the breakup.

He appreciated it, all the same.

“You what?” Robert raised an eyebrow, aimlessly stirring his coffee. He wasn’t much of a fan of Starbucks, but Vic liked all their overly sugary coffees, so he’d let her drag him inside, flashing his bank card at the cashier as Victoria tried to pay.

He’d missed out on so much of her life, the least he could do was buy her a few coffees.

“We could go to Bar West!” Victoria beamed at him. “Or somewhere in Leeds, if you’d rather. I bet there’s loads of really cool gay bars around here, we could make a proper night of it.”

Robert shook his head. “I don’t do gay bars, Vic,” he shrugged off her suggestion, taking a swig of his coffee, hoping she’d get the hint, and move on.

“Why not?” she was pushing, off course she was pushing. This was Vic, after all, she’d never been able to let anything lie in her life.

“Because I don’t, so drop it, Vic,” Robert practically growled at her, spotting the sign for the bathroom at the back of the coffee shop. He stood up before she could reply, making a beeline for the toilet before anyone else could get there first.

Robert locked the door behind him, breathing ragged as he sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, head in his hands.

He hated that he still felt like this.

Robert was trying, he really was. He wanted to be the kind of person who didn’t feel like he had to run and hide, every time someone mentioned a gay bar, our god forbid,  _pride_ , but he was.

He wasn’t proud, and he wasn’t sure he ever would be.

“Robert?” Victoria’s soft knock, and even softer voice roused him from his thoughts, made him remember he was hiding in a Starbucks bathroom from his own little sister because she’d mentioned a gay bar.

How sad was that?

“I’ll be out in a second,” Robert managed to choke out, pulling the handle of the toilet to flush it, making a fuss of washing and drying his hands before he unlocked the door, met with Victoria’s concerned face instantly.

She’d gathered up all their shopping bags, looking smaller than ever under the weight of everything she was holding.

Robert expected her to fuss, but she just looked at him, eyes wide.

“Let’s go and get an ice-cream,” she said, decisive.

Robert couldn’t really do anything except let her sweep him along, taking a few of the bags from her, Victoria looping her arm through his.

If there was anything good to come from his breakup with Aaron, Robert mused, it was the fact he and Victoria were so close now. They’d been best friends, once upon a time, Robert reassuring her of it not long after their mum had died, but time, and life, and all the mistakes Robert had made that pushed them apart.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself for missing out on so much of her life.

Victoria insisted on buying them two ice cream cones, settling herself on a park bench, bags at her feet, Robert trailing behind her.

“Vic, I….”

“You don’t have to talk to me about it,” Victoria interrupted, giving him a sincere smile. “I’m never going to be able to understand what it was like for you, I know that much. I just think that maybe you should talk about it, now you don’t have Aaron to talk to about it all.”

Robert took a lick of his steadily dripping ice-cream, giving a slight shrug. “It’s not as though I talked to Aaron about it very much either,” he admitted, thinking of all the conversations he hadn’t had with Aaron, all the times Aaron had tried to push him to open up, and Robert had refused.

“Bottling things up never helped anyone,” Victoria said matter of factly. She’d dyed her hair back to blonde, the two of them looking more related than ever, matching smattering of freckle across the bridge of their noses (although, Vic’s was hidden under a layer of makeup.)

Robert knew family was more than biology, but sometimes, he couldn’t help but be grateful Victoria was  _his_ , that they shared genes, and a childhood, and she understood what it was like to be a Sugden.

“How do I talk about a part of myself I barely even understand myself?” Robert said after a few moments silence. “I don’t - I don’t really even know where to begin, if I’m honest.”

“The beginning is always a good place to start,” Victoria laughed. “When did you first realise you liked boys as well?”

Robert closed his eyes, memories of being fifteen, of kissing Tom for the first time, of Jack leathering him for it coming flooding back. “I was fifteen,” he said quietly, deciding the Jack conversation was for another day, a day when he felt like he could tell the story without breaking down.

“So even before Katie, or Donna?”

Robert sometimes hated Victoria remembered all his exes so well. “Yeah,” he nodded, pausing to take another lick of his ice-cream. “You probably don't remember him, but we had this lad, help on the farm - Tom.”

Victoria looked confused for a second. “I don’t remember him,” she shook her head. “Was he cute?”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “Are we comparing taste in boys here, or?”

“I want to know!” Victoria exclaimed, slapping him on the arm. “I wish you would have been able to talk to be about it then, but that doesn't mean I don’t want to know now.”

Robert laughed. “Yeah, he - he was cute,” he admitted, thinking of the messy dark hair, the broad shoulders. He’d liked Tom from the moment he first met him, and all those days spent out in the fields together had only made him fall for the other boy more.

“Did anything ever happen?”

“We kissed, once,” Robert said, almost able to remember how the other boys lips had felt against his own, how his body had been different to the girls he’d been used to kissing, strong and muscular, and everything he’d never really wanted to admit to  _wanting_.

Victoria gave him an excited look. “Was his your first kiss with a boy then?”

Robert laughed. “Yeah, he was.”

“Did you ever have a boyfriend, before Aaron?” Victoria asked, munching her way through her ice cream cone.

Robert shook his head. “I pretended I was straight for a long time.”

“What, so - Aaron was your  _first_?”

Robert snorted. “No, definitely not.”

Victoria swatted at his arm. “Don’t be snarky, I was curious! So what - you played it straight and slept with men?”

“In a nutshell,” Robert leaned back on the bench, ice-cream gone now. “I figured you could separate the two, you know? I could be straight and just, like sex with guys. I know it sounds stupid, but..”

“Hey, I’m not going to judge you,” Victoria shook her head. “I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must have been, to realise like you like both, when you come from a little rural village in Yorkshire. People here still don’t understand these days, let alone fifteen years ago.”

“I don’t think I even really understand, sometimes.”

Victoria gave his hand a squeeze, her smile bright, and reassuring. “It’s not as though theres a rulebook, is there? Or is there - I could buy it for you, you know, we could start a bookclub!”

Robert laughed, feeling far more at ease than he had a few minutes previously, when they’d started talking about this. “How to be bisexual for dummies,” he quipped. “I’d make a mint, if I wrote that.”

Victoria looked thoughtful for a second. “You know what the first rule should be?”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “No, what?”

“Let yourself be proud,” Victoria said, pressing herself close to Robert’s side, the early afternoon sunshine bright. “Because it doesn’t sound like it was very easy for you.”

“No,” Robert admitted quietly. “It wasn’t.”

Robert wasn’t proud.

He wasn’t sure he’d ever be the sort to be the kind of proud that gets things done. Robert Sugden was never going to be the poster boy for the LGBT community, that much was obvious.

But maybe - maybe he could be proud for himself.

Proud he came out at all.

Proud he accepted it.

(In the end, at least.)

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
